Steve Kamb

Steve Kamb

6 Books that Will Change Your Life (Especially During Quarantine)

“A person who does not read good books has no advantage over a person who cannot read.” – Mark Twain

Books have changed my life.

Here are six books that will change yours.

I promise they make you a healthier person, a better human, a more caring partner, and a better thinker.

#1. Developing Mental Fortitude

Let’s be honest, life is really messed up right now.

We rage on social media, we clench our fists as we read clickbait after clickbait, and we numb ourselves with Netflix to forget that we’re stuck.

I get it. I do all of these things too. 

I’ve also come around to the realization that a “once in a lifetime” disruption and catastrophe is actually the rule, NOT the exception throughout human history. 

Hell, this certainly isn’t humanity’s first interaction with a global plague. We’ve been doing this since the days of Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Enter Ryan Holiday’s Stillness is the Key.

It’s through Ryan’s writing that I have become a huge fan of stoic philosophy.

I’ve come to realize I’m an emotionally-reactive manchild who struggles to pay attention to the important stuff, so doubling down on quieting my emotions and focusing on the important has been incredibly impactful in changing my life.

Stoic philosophy has served as a great touchstone and a great reminder to truly focus on what’s important in my life: my family, my health, focusing on meaningful work, and activities that recharge me. 

Along with Stillness, Holiday’s The Obstacle is the Way and Ego is the Enemy compose one hell of a trilogy for applying ancient stoic philosophy to modern challenges and should be revisited regularly. 

It’s why they live on my top shelf of my office and stare at me all day as I work:

Ryan Holiday’s stoic trilogy, between Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations and the book that broke me.

My favorite quote: “Build a life you don’t need to escape from.”

Living a good life is more than just making money and working towards eventual retirement. Or spending every week day counting down to the upcoming weekend where I can “escape.”

Instead, I’ve come around to the realization that I’ll never get to be “done.” That phrases like “After I get to X, then I can relax” and “if only” are really dangerous.

For that reason, I’ve put my focus on fine-tuning my typical day instead. I know if I can do most of these things, most of the time, my life is going to be mostly pretty great.

Here’s what a damn good day looks like for me:

  • At least 7.5 hours of sleep.
  • 1 hour of strength training or mobility work
  • Take my dog Pepper for a good long walk.
  • 4 hours of meaningful work (writing or creating).
  • Time with my family.
  • Reading a book.
  • Playing some music or playing golf.

Every day is one day closer to the grave (“memento mori,” remember death), which means I could “leave this world tomorrow.” I’ve stopped living for an eventual hypothetical, and instead just want to have a meaningful day every day.

If you like this book, you’ll also like:

#2. Removing Identity Politics from our Diet

“Well I’m Keto…”

“Oh I’m vegan…”

“You’re both wrong. I’m on the carnivore diet.”

“Oh, have you done the Military Diet though?”

Every day, there’s a new “best diet ever” to hit the internet. People have started building their identities – and self-worth – around how they eat and the rules they follow. 

So, rather than trying to find the one BEST diet for everybody(there isn’t), I instead want the mental framework, science, and history of WHY and HOW our bodies process food. 

Once we have this foundation, then we can make a dogmatic-free, informed decision on the right nutritional strategy for our situation.

Although it’s a bit dry, the best book I found at opening my eyes to the science around nutrition, calories, and nutrition science:

Why Calories Count by Marion Nestle and Malden Nesheim 

The most important thing I learned from this book: freeing myself from any sort of identity-based nutritional strategy:

  • I’m not a Paleo person (though I used to be!). 
  • I’m not a calorie counter (though I do track my food). 
  • I don’t build my identity around food – it’s just food. 
  • I don’t care about being perfect. I care about being good enough. 

I am a scientist, and I treat myself like a human guinea pig. I am constantly tinkering with the best strategy for me (if you’re curious, I lay out my personal nutritional strategy here).

If you’re trying to get a grasp on your nutrition, and you’re willing to set aside your nutritional dogma and deeply held beliefs, join me over here in Science’s corner. 

Most important lesson learned from this book: every diet works for the same reason. Every diet gets you to eat fewer calories which results in weight loss over time. 

(No, seriously – the science is settled. Check this weight loss guide for the details).

Here’s the problem: Temporary changes create temporary results. 

We suck at actually sticking with diets, which is why the results are temporary!

On top of that, we’re emotional eaters, terrible at estimating how much we ate, and can rationalize ANYTHING. 

I’m not going to suggest anybody count calories or follow a specific diet. We’re all adults here, and we can all make our own decisions.

Instead, I want people to know HOW we lose weight, and WHY our bodies do what they do. Once you have that framework, then you can decide which dietary path is the best one for you.

#3. Leveling Up Personal Finance

As far as “return on investment,” this upcoming is the best $10 anybody could possibly invest.

Right now, lots of people are realizing they’re unprepared to weather even a slight change in their economic situation. If anything, this global pandemic has taught us we need to dramatically reimagine how we spend, save, and invest our money.

Fortunately, I stumbled across a book a decade ago that taught me the basics of personal finance, and has helped me weather this current storm. 

That book is Ramit Sethi’s I Will Teach You to be Rich.

This should be required reading for every high school senior. 

From negotiating lower rent, to building an emergency fund, to learning what the heck a Roth IRA is, this book makes personal finance actually approachable and understandable.

This book has already helped me avoid $100,000+ of mistakes, and will result in $1,000,000+ worth of future value over the coming decades.

  • If you are a high-earner looking to maximize your yearly return, you need this book.
  • If you are currently living paycheck to paycheck, you NEED this book!
  • If you’re an employee or self-employed, you need this book.

My favorite part of Ramit’s “Rich Life” philosophy: spend lavishly on the things that are important to you, and cut ruthlessly the things that aren’t.

My favorite tip: Build up an automatic “emergency fund.” 

The book walks you through how to set up a free online savings account, putting your first $10 into it, and then automatically contributing $10 each month. The psychological win here is dramatic, and is something everybody should do now.

No, like right now.

#4. Becoming More Productive During Work Hours

Millions upon millions of people are working from home for the first time. 

As somebody who has been working from home for 11 years, I’d like to say:

“Welcome! It’s the best. But, you’re gonna suck at it for a long time.”

Working from home requires the right kind of discipline, system, and strategy for actually focusing on the important work. 

This is doubly true if you have children out of school and quarantined with you too!

After all, it’s one thing to be productive when you’re at an office, with your boss in the room next to you, and you’re required to be there for 8-9 hours per day.

However, it’s another thing entirely to be your own adult, avoid all the distractions your house has to offer, and learn to focus on the work that truly needs to be done.

Enter Nir Eyal’s Indistractable.

This step-by-step guide teaches how to effectively manage one’s time in a distracting home environment.

Not only that, but it also covers how to STILL spend time doing the fun stuff you enjoy (mindlessly scrolling through instagram, watching Netflix), but doing so in a way without feeling guilty. 

Best tip from this book: Time blocking your schedule!

I’ve set up every minute of my day into my calendar, including things like “Screw around on the internet,” “video games,” and “reading.” If you don’t set your schedule, life will set a schedule for you – and you’re not gonna like it. 

If you enjoy this book, you’ll also enjoy: Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport.

Although it treads similar ground, Newport’s book is more of a philosophical take on minimizing technological distraction, and how to meaningfully spend one’s time instead.

#5. Getting Your Head Right and Learning to Change.

Fun fact: the default human emotional baseline is NOT “happy” or “satisfied.” 

It’s actually “unfulfilled.”

Back in the day, imagine there was a tribe who was satisfied and content and happy. And then, there was a tribe who was unsatisfied, unhappy, and constantly felt like they “needed more.”

This tribe totally kicked the shit out of the satisfied tribe.

Which means you, me and the rest of the human race are descendants of the unsatisfied tribe! 

Double shit. 

So, if you’re not happy all the time, that’s normal.

And if you’re sad, and you suck at changing yourself, that’s okay too!

Let’s be honest here: we humans are emotional bags of meat on a floating rock hurtling through space, and navigating this stuff is really challenging.

Enter Mark Manson’s perfectly titled Everything is F**ked: A Book about Hope. 

Everything is F**ked is an incredibly entertaining, actually hopeful and helpful guide to understanding how our brains work. 

It provides a great resource for learning how to work WITH the voice in our brains rather than against it.

Especially during this exact moment in history when everything is actually f**ked.

Best tip from this book: Don’t hope for – or expect – NO problems. Hope for – and try to have – different, better problems.

Also, change isn’t supposed to be entertaining and joyous. It’s hard! 

Change doesn’t happen all at once in some grand declaration either. It happens in the quiet moments when we make decisions slightly different than the “old us” would have made. Those combine, over many months and years, to transform us into a different person. 

#6. Strengthening Your Relationships

Whether we’re quarantined with a loved one, family or by yourself right now, we’ve been given a tremendous opportunity that might never present itself again:

We have the time and space to think deeply and work on strengthening the ties to the people in our lives.

After a failed relationship, and one – or both parties – usually wish they had been more communicative, had discussed more rather than shut down, and learned to work together rather than drift apart over the years.

Most relationship books often deal with communication tools to better converse with your partner, and how to navigate conversations without the emotional baggage. 

Although I find these books to be incredibly valuable in sharpening one’s tools for relationships and conversations, few address the base level of true emotional need often at the base of every relationship conflict. 

Enter Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a LIfetime of Love, by Dr. Sue Johnson.

This book completely shifted my perspective on the relationships in my life, and I began to see how my deeply-held beliefs had shaped my words and experiences. 

Not only that, but I learned to have the conversation BENEATH the argument, which usually helped my fiancée and I reach a resolution sooner whenever we have disagreements.

This is a book worth reading for any couple or family, especially if they are stuck in quarantine together. 

Favorite tip from this book: Recognizing the “demon dialogues” in our relationship, and working together as a couple – rather than against each other – to solve problems.

Just identifying these moments when they happen can be a huge breakthrough for discussions as a couple. 

Never Stop Reading

I’d like to quickly note that I did NOT put my own book, Level Up Your Life, on this list. 

I mean come on, that would be super tacky to RECOMMEND THAT YOU BUY LEVEL UP YOUR LIFE, my amazing book that will change your life, available on Amazon and wherever books are sold.

Good thing I didn’t do that.

That would have been awkward.

Ahem. 

When I’m not reading books or playing video games, I’m helping a few hundred thousand people change their lives by getting stronger, leaner, and healthier over at my company, Nerd Fitness.

Let me know what you think of these books over on Twitter (I’m @stevekamb).

-Steve

PS: I also love reading fiction. If you’re looking for something new to sink your teeth into, here are my favorites:

13 Ways I Made Money as a Kid (before 18)

At age 5, I started my first entrepreneurial venture.

At age 10, I got in trouble at school for selling illegal goods at the lunch table.

At age 14, my first official job only lasted two weeks.

Now that I’m 11 years into my bootstrapped venture (NerdFitness.com, now with 25 full time team members), I thought I’d be fun to look back at the jobs I had as a kid, and the lessons I learned along the way:

The 13 Ways I Made Money before 18

1. “Art” Dealer (Age 5). I grew up on Cape Cod, MA, about a 5 minute drive from the beach. I don’t even remember where the idea came from, but I decided I was going to create and sell art.

So I convinced my dad to take me to Sandy Neck Beach at low tide, where I collected quahog shells, enough to fill a garbage bag. I then put all the shells into a giant Rubbermade trashcan, filled it with bleach and water, and bleached the shit out of those damn shells.

I then painted various designs in the shell, and sold them in front of my house. The shells with poorly drawn Red Sox logos were the best sellers.

I think my parents forced all of their friends to buy one, which I suppose would qualify as a neighborly shakedown.

2. Beverage Salesman (age 5-8). During hot summer days, my friends and I would sell Country Time lemonade on our street. Yellow lemonade always sold better than the pink lemonade.

We quickly learned that very few cars drove down our street, but if we parked ourselves at the end of the neighborhood, 10x the number of cars would drive by.

3. Black Market Creepy Crawler dealer (age 10). In 4th Grade, my friend Cash and I both had a Creepy Crawly machine. Imagine an easy bake oven, but to make insects:

You would take these metal molds of various bugs, fill up the molds with (probably) toxic goup, and then stick them in the Creepy Crawlers oven.

Cash and I would then bring the Crawlers to school and sell them to classmates in Mr Kelleher’s class and at the lunch table. Black scorpions were the big sellers at 50 cents.

This career was short-lived, as word got around to the teachers we were selling illegal insects, and had to shut down productions. Sorry, Mr. Kelleher!

4. Beach Plum Jelly Production and Sales (age 10?). About a 5-minute drive away from our house, there was a public orchid of beach plum trees. I went there with my mom and picked a few baskets full of beach plums.

We then spent a few days turning the plums in the beach plum jelly, canned them in mason jars, and then sold them at the Wing School Fair.

5. Successful lawn-mowing business (age 11-16). I made business cards and put them in everybody’s mailbox. Most of the time I could just push the mower or run it down the street and then walk it back home. Sometimes, if I was nice and she wasn’t busy, my mom would let me throw the mower in the back of her Jeep and she would drive me over.

Lawn-mowing memory: putting my Lit (Our Place in the Sun) CD into my Sony Discman and trying to walk as smoothly as possible so the album wouldn’t skip.

By the end of my lawn-mowing career, I saved up to buy an Intel Pocket Concert MP3 player. I think it could only hold like 30 songs…but man, having that to mow lawns was the BEST.

6. Raked leaves during the fall. (age 11-16) Same customers who had me mow their lawn. All I needed was some trashbags and a rake.

7. Shoveled snow during the winter (age 11-16). Same customers who had me mow their lawn and rake their leaves. All I needed was a shovel and a willingness to deal with frozen toes and fingers.

8. Caddying at the Ridge Club (age 13). This job wasn’t great, as I was quite small and not strong. I also managed to consistently get stuck with the old guys who tipped poorly….which was probably due to the fact that I was quite small and not strong. It DID give me a chance to play this private golf course on Tuesday afternoons without being a member, which was by far the best perk of the whole job.

9. Custom bracelet business with my friend Eric (age 13-17). There was a great yarn store at the end of Eric’s neighborhood, so we could walk down to it in the summer, buy our colors, and then go home and make our bracelets. I think I still owe Eric his half of the profits, probably $20.

10. Dishwasher (age 14) – I lasted 2 weeks as a dishwasher at Marshland Restaurant, my first official “job.” I would spend my first hour peeling potatoes, then waiting for the dishes to start rolling in. If the restaurant was slow, I would be bored. If the restaurant was busy, I would be miserable, sweaty, and get yelled at.

In both instances, I made the same amount of money, which didn’t make sense to me.

After two weeks I quit. I remember being so nervous and walking into tell my manager in person, I might have even cried because. I felt like I had failed and I was letting them down. She wasn’t surprised, told me things were fine, and wished me well. Later that day, I got a new job as a…

11. Busboy at Jillian’s Restaurant (age 14-16). 2-3 nights per week, 8-9 hours a night. This was WAY more fun. For starters, most of the waitresses were very cute and treated us busboys nicely.

More importantly, the busier the night, the more money I made thanks to tip kickbacks from the servers.

The best part: each table got a basket of fresh garlic breadsticks, and Dave (fellow busboy) and I would eat no less than 10 of these things every night.

At midnight after everything was cleaned up, the head chef (Jillian’s Dad) would make us a quick meal. Once in a great moon, he’d make us chicken parmesan. Today this day, chicken parm is still my favorite meal.

12. Burned CDs with custom playlists (age 15). This was peak Napster era. We had a decently fast CD burner. So I created an order form people could fill out with 14 of their favorite songs, and I would “procure” those songs and put them on a disc to play in their car CD player. Good thing I didn’t try to scale this business up!

13. Babysitting the neighbor’s kid next door (age 16). My nextdoor neighbors were Mario and Adrianna. They also had an awesomely overexcited dog named Penny. I only did this a few nights, as it went against Lesson #1 (see below).

The 6 Biggest Lessons Learned

I am so damn lucky that I had parents who actively encouraged, supported, and helped me with each of these ventures. I learned about marketing, money management, dependability, time management, and customer research.

Here are the 6 biggest lessons I learned as young Steve:

  1. Don’t trade time for money. I hated the jobs in which I was based based on the time I was in a location, having nothing to do with my efforts or the circumstances. I loved the jobs and ventures in which I made more money if I worked harder, hustled more, or came up with something more clever.
  2. Go where the people are. I made way more money selling lemonade at the end of the neighborhood than I did on my street in the neighborhood. I made more money selling Beach Plum Jelly at the School fair than I did on a card table in my front yard.
  3. Give the people what they want. I could make way more money if I created a custom Creepy Crawly Creation for somebody than a pre-made one. I could make more money if I let them pick out their bracelet colors rather than something already designed.
  4. Existing customers are important: If I mowed somebody’s lawn, they might make a good leaf-raking or snow shoveling customer in the next season.
  5. Repeat customers are clutch. Because I did a pretty good job on mowing lawns and showed up consistently, most customers had me come back every 10-14 days. Recurring revenue was really helpful for budgeting purposes.
  6. You make way more money when you’re in charge. When you control the supply, the means of production, and can sell directly to customers, you make significantly more money…if you can find customers!

Anybody else have clever ways they made money as a kid? Share below!

Not Fade Away: The Book That Broke Me

I read a book recently that wrecked me. 

It’s called Not Fade Away: A Short Life Well Lived, by Peter Barton, with Laurence Shames. It’s an autobiography about Peter’s battle with terminal cancer.

I’ve had the book on my shelf for years. 

I finally read it on my flight to visit my brother in San Diego. By the end of the flight, I was crying my eyes out while contemplating the meaning of life. 

Meanwhile, my seatmate was having a much happier time.

Here’s the gist: Peter was a world-traveling, healthy-eating, fun-loving entrepreneur with a beautiful wife and 3 healthy kids. 

Then, in the prime of his life, Peter was suddenly diagnosed with cancer. Determined to beat it, Peter threw as much optimism, healthy living, and the best doctors at the problem for years. 

Unfortunately, those things weren’t enough. 

It’s heartbreaking, inspiring, and one of the most powerful reminders I’ve ever had with regards to “Memento Mori:” 

Remember death.

Father Time, Mother Nature, and Lady Luck are under no obligation to make sense to us. And in the end, they always win.

I wanted to highlight a passage from the book about Peter’s favorite movie, and one that helped him keep life in perspective:

“Andre is a romantic, an aesthete, a perfectionist. He tells his friend Wally that, for him, a great day has to be sublime in every detail. There has to be a perfect meal at a perfect table overlooking a perfect sunset. One flaw anywhere and the whole experience is spoiled. 

“Wally is just the opposite. 

“He asks very little of life. He’s thrilled with whatever scraps of pleasure the world throws his way. A good day for him is when he wakes up in the morning, finds a cup of coffee left over from the day before, and discovers that no cockroach has crawled into it and died.

“Well, when I was young and healthy, pumped up with the brightness of my prospects, I wanted to be Andre. 

“Demand the best. Insist on perfection. But later in life, humbled by sickness and the prospect of mortality, I’ve come to understand that Wally, all along, was really the wiser person, and certainly the happier one. He had the great gift of being pleasantly surprised, of seeing small delights, as large victories.

“A person of Andre’s temperament would have a really tough time getting ready to die. He’d grumble at every bodily insult, mourn every vanished possibility, see every lost pleasure as a personal affront. A person like Wally, on the other hand, is already so much closer to acceptance and peace.

“Thank God I’m becoming more and more like Wally.” 

Trying to be less like Andre and more like Wally

For most of my 20s, I was Andre.

I needed the perfect gym to train out of, or I wouldn’t bother training at all. Why bother exercising if I don’t have access to all the right equipment?   

I needed to know what the PERFECT diet was – any bad meal ruined the day. Lunch was unhealthy, therefore dinner is a lost cause. I needed to get to a level of physical attractiveness that was completely unattainable. I needed to actually look like Captain America, and I needed it yesterday. 

On the business side of things I wasn’t much better…

I needed to make Nerd Fitness into a galaxy-altering company, and it needed to happen as soon as possible.

Who cares that I wasn’t sleeping? Who cares that I got injured from overtraining? Who cares that put my personal life on hold for years? I was doing important work! 

The company and the gym came first. 

Life could come later.

These days, at age 35 and 10+ years into Nerd Fitness, my perspective has changed. Frankly, I’m trying more and more to be like Wally. 

For the first time in 15 years, I’m not in a rush to get somewhere.

I finally feel content with where I’m at with my health and physique. I’m not rushing to gain weight or lose weight quickly for a certain goal.

I don’t even really HAVE a goal right now. Just, “stronger and happier than yesterday.” These days, I travel far less too – usually only to visit friends or family. I feel like a Bilbo after his run-in with the dragon, glad I did it, but content to spend most of my time in my hobbit hole. 

A great day for me includes time to write, time to read, time to play music, and time spent with friends and loved ones.

I’m reminded of a quote from Ryan Holiday’s Stillness is the Key: “Build a life you don’t need to escape from.”

A healthy lunch and a good dinner.

On some days, I strength train. Usually in a gym, but not always.

On others, I go for walks. 

Professionally, I’m still trying to help as many people as possible with Nerd Fitness – it’s just done with less naivete, more humility, and with the right goals in place. 

Paradoxically, this attitude shift has helped me become stronger, healthier, and less injury prone than ever before (which I wrote about here).

From a company perspective, Nerd Fitness is more financially stable and successful than we’ve ever been. Our team is now 25 people big, but this time it actually feels managable.

By lowering the unrealistic expectations of myself and my company, by focusing less on perfection and more on finding meaning in TODAY…

I’ve actually made more consistent, permanent progress.

Today is a Good Day

Regardless of where you are on your fitness journey, or how much farther you need to go…

You woke up today. 

That’s a pretty good start!

Let’s build on that.

So you only have 30 minutes to work out rather than your normal 60? Who cares! Do the damn workout. So your kid is sick and you can only do a few sets of push-ups instead of going for your normal weekend run. Who cares! Do the damn push-ups. So you had a bad day at work and ate half a cake. Who cares! Make the next meal healthy.

Shit happens. 

Life happens. 

Your quest for perfection will either keep you from starting or eventually ruin you. That is, if a bus, or cancer, or a piece of contaminated lettuce doesn’t do you in first.

Life is absurd and unfair and nonsensical.

Peter died of cancer despite the best doctors. My friend Scott Dinsmore was killed by a freak rock slide accident in the prime of his life – and he was a real life Captain America. 

We’re just emotional bags of meat on a floating rock, hurtling through space.

And death comes for us all.

That is morbid. It’s also incredible.

Can You Be More Like Wally?

We never “get there.”

We never arrive. All we have is today. 

So give yourself a break! 

And then get to work. 

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”

If you also happen to wake up tomorrow – and I like your chances – try again. 

Provided I continue to exist, I’ll continue creating and trying and training and learning!

Let’s make a pact to try and fail and stumble and crawl and try to figure this stuff out.

It starts with waking up. NAILED IT!

-Steve