I’m currently writing this newsletter from a house on a lake in Fort Collins, Colorado.

(You won’t read it for another week, but let’s just time travel back to last week).

Comically, I had NO plans on being in Fort Collins 48 hours earlier.

But funny things can happen…

Particularly when I’m trying to do the opposite, a skill I learned this one of TV’s greatest characters, George Costanza.

The Costanza Effect

In the episode, “The Opposite,” George is feeling like he’s caught in a rut:

“Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable.

I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but I was perceptive. I always know when someone’s uncomfortable at a party. It all became very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I’ve ever made in my entire life has been wrong.

My life is the complete opposite of everything I want it to be. 

Every instinct I have in every aspect of life, be it something to wear, something to eat… It’s often wrong.”

After switching his lunch order (ordering the opposite of “tuna on toast”), he catches a woman looking at him from across the coffee shop.  

Normally, George would avoid talking to women, as “bald men with no jobs and no money who live with their parents don’t approach strange women.”

Then Jerry chimes in:

“Here’s your chance to try the opposite, instead of tuna salad and being intimidated by women, chicken salad and going right up to her…

If every instinct you’ve had is wrong, then the opposite must be right!”

He approaches the woman and just tells the truth: “My name is George, I’m unemployed and live with my parents.” 

And guess what? She’s into it! 

For the rest of the episode, George does the opposite, eventually landing him a job with the New York Yankees.

My “Do the Opposite” Challenge

It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day routine of life. 

Personally, I’ve been working on a big-ass project for a few years, and my routine largely revolves around writing in the morning, editing and researching and lots of thinking in the afternoons. 

I used to go to conferences and connect with other writers but had found myself doing less of that over the past handful of years.

About a month ago, my friend Mike Pacchione sent me a text to ask if I was going to the Craft + Commerce conference in Boise, Idaho. 

(If you have been reading NF for a long time, Mike is also the guy who convinced me to fly up to watch the Red Sox win the World Series in 2013!)

I hadn’t planned on it… but I realized I had been in a rut and needed to start doing “the opposite:”

Say YES to more things,  choosing uncomfortable expansion over comfortable contraction.

So, I said yes, and spent most of last week in Boise, and it was incredible.

I got to see my friend Pat Flynn (who now runs two of the biggest Pokémon card YouTube channels) give a great talk:

I got a chance to reconnect with so many blogger friends and writers I’ve known since the early days of Nerd Fitness! I made lots of new internet friends too.

I felt invigorated about writing and creating and sharing again, which is why I started Nerd Fitness in the first place!

Funny aside: I met multiple people who said, “I used to read Nerd Fitness in high school!” which made me feel older than dirt…but also proud that I’ve been living this life for 16 years now! 

Then, it got even better. 

I was talking with Keith Perhac and Tim Grahl (pictured below), and I shared how I was struggling with a specific aspect of my secret project. 

And then Tim said something that caught me off guard:

“Don’t you have a massive network of author friends? 

What about our friend Josh Kaufman? He’s GREAT at this exact thing! 

Just change your flight home and go see him in Colorado!”

Past Steve would say “I don’t like asking for help, I don’t want to be a burden, I already have my flight booked, I’ll just keep struggling by myself.”

But then Opposite Steve remembered asking for help was a sign of courage, not a sign of weakness.

I texted Josh and asked if he’d be willing to spend an afternoon with me.

Josh replied quickly: “Of course, but stay longer, and stay at my house!”

48 hours later I had changed my flight to Colorado, grabbed a rental car, and drove up to Fort Collins.

Josh and I got to catch up, eat amazing food (Josh is a hell of a cook), and I got to play Elden Ring with Josh and his son all weekend.

And then Josh helped me sort out the part of my project I was struggling with, and I left a few days later with a big smile on my face and a plan to follow.

All because I decided to “do the opposite.”

Where can you “Do the Opposite” this week?

We humans are creatures of habit, but it’s also very easy to get stuck in a rut when we do the same thing every day.

Like a vinyl record in which the needle gets caught in the same groove…

Sometimes, you have to shake things loose.

Fun things can happen, memories can be made, and solutions to problems or challenges start to emerge when looked at from a different angle.

I am trying to bring some spontaneity back into my life, and hopefully I’ll have some more adventures to share in future newsletters. Probably not “travel around the world for 14 months” levels of adventure…

But adventure nonetheless! 

If you feel a bit stuck in a rut now, where can you do the opposite?

• Drive a different way to work.
• Say NO to something you normally feel obligated to say YES to. 
• Do a completely different workout.
• Order the opposite meal for lunch.

Just do something that’s the opposite of what Normal You would have done, and see if it can help shake things up.

-Steve