I am very good at time-traveling.

Unfortunately, not in the cool “time traveling” way.

I don’t have a DeLorean. I haven’t found a way to navigate through a black hole. I don’t have a hot tub time machine either.

Here’s the kind of time-traveling I am good at.

I can convince myself I cannot possibly be a full-human participant on planet earth today, because I am working on a very important thing. And only after I finish that very important thing can I be a full-human and enjoy tomorrow.

Of course, by the time tomorrow happens, another very important thing will require my focus, and the time-traveling will begin anew.

This month, I’m finding it harder than ever to resist my half-human time-traveling tendencies, so let’s talk about it.

My new book, How to Try Again, hits bookshelves around the world in three weeks.

(Obligatory author marketing nudge: if you pre-order before THIS Thursday, I’m hosting a live Q&A Thursday night just for people who are pre-order superheroes!)

This is a weird-ass time period for an author: after the book is done, but before it’s out.

So much of me wants to fast forward to June 16th.

I am fighting that urge with every fiber of my being.

Here’s how I became a time-traveler and what I’m doing differently.

I can’t be present today, this is TOO important! But tomorrow…

For as long as I can remember, my brain has been world class at living for the future.

I was the kid who saved his summer allowance and couldn’t wait to go to the Sandwich Cooperative Bank to find out how much interest I earned on the $40 in my savings account. Yes, I was an overachieving 6-year old.

When playing Chrono Trigger and Final Fantasy III on my Super Nintendo, I’d save every health potion and power up I found, in case I needed them later. Of course, I finished both games with an overflowing inventory.

While building Nerd Fitness, I would put my head down for weeks and months and work nonstop to fix a problem or rewrite old essays or launch a new thing. I’d tell myself I could slow down after.

When I get into these moments of time-traveling, I become a weird half-human, half-robot: work work work, eat fuel for sustenance, sleep to recover, beep boop boop.

Full-human Steve has to wait until tomorrow, because there is important work to do today. A social life, doing fun things with friends, being present… there’s no time for that now!

I convinced myself I had to do it this way so that I could be a full-human participant again at some point in the future.

Now, living and planning for a future isn’t a bad thing (in moderation):

I have money saved for a rainy day, in case life goes sideways. I am building something that hopefully grows and keeps working even when I stop working on it.

However, I often take this to the extreme and forget that today is actually the only day we get to live.

I recently joked my brain can see the past with absolute clarity while observing the present with complete delusion:

Unfortunately, writing a book magnifies my time-traveling tendencies tenfold:

When I started the book proposal, the voice in my head would say, “I just have to work hard until we get this book deal, then we can enjoy each day writing.”

Then, as soon as I got the book deal, my impostor syndrome kicked in. My brain would tell me, “We can’t enjoy today! Not until we finish a draft of this book! But then we can relax and be present.”

Of course, once the abstract idea of a book became a real draft with real readers, the urge to work on it 24/7 was stronger than ever.

Life then kicked my ass, which caused me to tread water an live like a half-human for much of the last few years.

Even after finishing the book, my attention immediately turned to “How do I get people to read my book? I can slow down after the book is out!”

The work is never, which means half-human Steve wants to keep time-traveling his ass off.

Here’s how I’m staving off this mentality.

The “in-between” still qualifies as LIFE: I’ve already won

My book is done and the “launch” is mostly set.

The audiobook is recorded. The podcasts are mostly recorded. The guest posts are mostly written. The event at Parnassus is set. The publisher’s marketing efforts are locked and loaded.

But there’s always more work to be done or people to connect with. I recently found myself “sprinting” unsustainably towards launch day. Fortunately, my friend Tim Grahl talked some sense into me:

“Steve, I’ve seen authors burn themselves out before their book is even out. What a tragedy.

You’re not finishing a sprint when this book comes out, you starting a marathon. You need find a pace to talk about your book for the next few years that is sustainable for you.”

If I can step back, zoom out, and look at this current moment with full-human clarity, here’s the truth:

I’ve already succeeded.

I wrote a book that is going to help people forgive themselves for being human. And I got paid by a fantastic publisher to do it!

I know sales aren’t everything, but I’ve already received some positive and objective signals that I’ve written something pretty good that is going to help the right people for a long time.

How to Try Again is launching in 8 countries in June and has been acquired for publication in 7 other languages, before it’s even published! That certainly didn’t happen with my first book.

(Young Steve’s head explode if I could time-travel back to high school and tell him he’d have a book on shelves all over the world.)

Here’s another truth that I’m allowing myself to sit with:

I’ll probably look back on these exact weeks, the ones my brain wants to fast-forward through, with fondness and nostalgia.

“Steve, remember that sweet spot? After the book was done, but before critics and readers wrote their reviews, before its possibilities became reality? That was the best.”

I’m currently IN the good ole days, and I have a chance to enjoy them while they’re happening!

I’m reminding myself that I am a full human today, doing what I need to do. There’s no need for me to time-travel, tomorrow will arrive precisely when it means to.

Tomorrow hasn’t happened. Might as well enjoy today.

I know how cliché this sounds, but I have to work each day to remind myself that today is a gift and tomorrow will show up when it shows up.

Here’s how I’m fighting back against being a half-human time-traveler.

1) Sign up for things before my brain can say no (hat tip to my friend Sam Vander Wielen who also does this!):

• On Friday afternoon, I overrode my brain that said “I am too stressed” and went to a Yoga class I had already signed up for. Yep, instant stress reliever. Duh!
• I signed up to volunteer and take a dog for the day from my local shelter, which filled up my heart and gave an anxious dog a nice day out in the parks of Nashville.
• I signed up for a few golf lessons in preparation for my Irish golf trip this summer!

2) I’ve spent the last year really focused on my “social fitness.”

I’ve said yes to as much as possible, prioritizing my community and friends and family. So even though my brain says I’m too busy, I have built in accountability and people who are counting on me to show up!

• Late last week, I saw Obsession in a packed theater with my buddy Brad.
• Yesterday, I joined Brad and his kids for The Sheep Detectives, which was so damn cute and wholesome.
• Last weekend, I joined some other friends on an overnight trip to Chattanooga.

3) I remind myself that I will always have things to do, and it will never get done.

• When my brain tells me I’m too anxious for a 10 minute walk, I take a 20 minute walk.
• When my brain says “This work is too important, you cannot take time to enjoy today,” I remember myself that today is all I really have.
• I remember I am always “working on a book,” which means I have to find a way to be a full-human during the writing and marketing process.

Perfect Days is a beautiful film about the quiet life of a man who cleans toilets in Japan. It’s a meditative reflection on slowing down, being present, and finding beauty in the small things. Later in the movie, his niece joins him for the day and asks about the future and their next adventure.

He replies simple:

“Next time is next time. Now is now.”

Are you a fellow time-traveler?

Do you find it easy to exist as a half-human today because this is very important?

I’d love to hear how you navigate this feeling and ways you stay present!

Discuss this essay over on my Substack page

HOW TO TRY AGAIN CORNER: Join me for a live Q&A Thursday!

I’m hosting a Live Q&A on Thursday just for folks who have pre-ordered a copy of the book.

I also have a box of finished copies from my publisher WAITING to be opened, so I’ll open it live Thursday on the call so we can all see the final hardcover together for the first time!

Last week, I sat down with Coach Matt from Nerd Fitness for a fun conversation about How to Try Again, behavior change, failure, staying afloat, and chaos.

You can now watch it over on YouTube:

If you want to support my work, visit HowtoTryAgain.com and follow the simple instructions if you want to join me! Bring your fun questions, I’ll be hanging out for 90 minutes or so!

I hope to see you there.

-Steve

PS: This post is also published over on Substack, which is where you can comment on it!