I spend most of my day trying to outsmart my brain.

You see, my brain is very talented at getting me to NOT do things that are good for me, and then justifying it to me in a way that sounds rational.

I get it.

The voice in my head (who I have named “Chaz”) is doing its best to try and protect me, even when I’m not asking for protection. 

For example, it tries to protect me from feeling foolish or self-conscious or getting frustrated. 

Unfortunately, many of the things in life worth doing often come with the side effect of looking foolish and self-conscious, and could include some level of frustration.

Like when trying new things.

I logically understand that this is the cost trying something new, and nobody cares:

But that doesn’t stop my brain from falling for the “spotlight effect”: 

It’s so concerned about looking foolish, and gets frustrated when I’m not great at the thing right away.

In some terrible instances, the fear of uncomfortableness is so strong that it keeps me from trying in the first place.

Fortunately, I came up with a simple little lifehack that my brain keeps falling for every time.

This is only a test

Last month, my friend Allea invited me to a swing dance event. 

I’ve been trying to “do the opposite” lately, so I said yes.

Immediately, the voice in my brain started panicking:

• I don’t remember how to swing dance!
• It’s gonna have lots of people there. People I don’t know! 
• What if it’s not fun? What if I suck? What if it’s a waste of time?

I told my brain that this was only a test:

“Steve, this isn’t the real swing dance class. Stop worrying. This is just a test-run to see if it’s something you might want to try for real next time. Relax.”

Suddenly, I felt like I could show up without expectation. 

This removed all the pressure I had put on myself to immediately be good at this thing, to enjoy it, to make sure I got the most out of it, and so on.

I could try without freaking out. I told myself I could leave the second I didn’t want to be there. I told myself I got to hang with a friend and get out of my house. All good things!

So, how did it go? 

It was fine! 

I felt uncomfortable and frustrated a few times (because I couldn’t get one of the steps), but had a moderate amount of fun. I’m both glad I went and I’m unsure I’ll go again.

In other words: it was a successful test run. That was the only thing I needed to accomplish: 

Show up and try it out.

The courage to be seen trying

Actor/musician Donald Glover told The New York Times: 

“No one on their deathbed is going to look back and say, ‘Thank God I avoided being cringe.’”

As we know, growth happens outside of our comfort zone…which means we need to find ways to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Here’s what that means for me right now.

I’m trying to figure out how I want to show up in the world, and after time away to focus on myself, I’m jumping back into sharing more STEVE!

This not only includes my newsletter, which is now more personal and philosophical.

It includes sharing more on social media (I’m mostly on Instagram and Threads), and maybe even making some video content again.

Truthfully, I’ve held back on making videos for the past few years because I didn’t want to embarrass myself, I felt uncomfortable, I didn’t love making videos in the past.

But I also know lots of people prefer video over text. 

Don’t worry, I’m going to write the hell out of this newsletter every week, but I’m also experimenting with different ways to share these ideas in other mediums.

And this time, when I make video content, I have very different expectations:

Instead of “how many views can I get…”

It’s “let’s run a test to see if I can create videos that I actually get excited to make.”

I’m testing, without expectation, ways that I can make this fun for me.

I am an enthusiastic, optimistic person. My friend Jodi texted me today, “You’ve got that human golden retriever thing going on (it’s a compliment).”

Which is accurate: nothing makes me happier than sharing that excitement about something important or interesting to me with the world.

I’m leaning into this as I become “Maximum Steve,” so thanks for being here and being part of this experiment.

Try without expectation: it’s just a test!

While I’m off running tests, I want you to do the same.

Can you pick something this week, something you’ve been afraid to try, afraid to throw yourself into…

Maybe it’s painting a picture, or strumming an instrument, or putting yourself back out there.

When your brain starts to heap obligations and expectations onto your shoulders, when your brain says “eh, it might be uncomfortable, what if we don’t like it, we shouldn’t go…”

Tell your brain that it’s “just a test run.”

Tell your brain you’re just trying it out this one time to see if you like it and want to maybe consider doing more of it later.

It might help you get out of your own way long enough to actually do the thing.

And maybe, just maybe, you’ll discover that the test wasn’t that bad.

And you might even like it. And even if you don’t, you tried.

-Steve